The Effects, the Appetites

The Writing Process and where I commit to try to take my writing more seriously.

I have to if I’d like to create my Deerfield Project and pursue publishing (self or otherwise). It’s such a fascinating story, and my peers at Gullkistan were both working on manuscripts for publication. That’s exciting and not something I’d ever thought pictured for myself, though has been a fantasy since I was a little person. 

I’ve registered for a summer writing workshop to help my story get there and have submitted a lot of mini grants here and there to better research my project, for ex: the Mass Historical Society so that I might get a close up view of Cotton Mather  and John Williams’ correspondence. While I’m not hopeful about be awarded such a fellowship, I like the idea of using personal affairs, diaries, letters to gain understanding of life in Massachusetts – Boston and Deerfield -at turn of the 18th century.  I’m also tangling with the reality that I’m not an historian and there are legit historians who’ve published award-winning manuscripts on my very topic. Why should my interest and any work resulting from my Deerfield research exist alongside?

So far, I’ve applied for The Awesome Foundation (it’s a no I think), the Mass Cultural Council (photography focused on winter light). These applications are stressful and churn up the impostor complex with a vengeance. Distraction makes for my sloppy and undercooked writing. It’s good to chin-up and submit anyways, and resolve to trust in the process & my thinking.

But, also, why not?

Working in Gullkistan, I saw so much literature is translated into Icelandic- so much- the Icelandic people must be ferocious readers, and wouldn’t intense readers make for deft and elegant writing? So, I’m going back to my favorites for inspiration and direction: David Sedaris, Tony Horwitz, Mary Gaitskill, Amy Bender, Zadie Smith, Marylynne Robinson, and others…

Reads & References