Brain Pain


Classes haven’t been going so well:(

Why do I have that millennial girl power thing in my head that lies to me? I invented this aphoristic monster; she says; “you do anything, if you just recognize it, be a trooper, ask questions, be kind, and learning will follow”? I would tell anyone just that and be genuinely double upping on this Kool-Aid. People must think I’m an ASSHOLE.

There’s a lot going into success, I’m thinking, fundamental, being habits in thinking and behaving. Both my MEMS and Analog Circuits courses, Engineering and Physics, are not typical of my academic history but subjects I aspire to know more, for personal interest and perhaps to eventually steer my UX research career into medical devices, wearables, smart fabrics.

Habit illuminates your self worth, what you value, and the strength of your habits, not just study diligence & discipline, indicate potential success. That’s what I think, anyways, sort of, “don’t tell me what you value, show me your balance sheet, and I will tell you what you value,” kind of way.

Thinking habits can introduce obstacles, say, negative, cyclical/oscillating thoughts and habits of rumination, introduces inherent distraction. No matter the strength of your interest or your sense of possibility, distraction is distraction; success will be elusive.

Especially at Harvard, (shame inducing thoughts, well, I’m not real Harvard (being a Continuing Studies student), I’m not smart enough or smart at all (really, that’s hard to do, here, even for the “real” candidates), dabbling in highly complicated fields, working full time (for a lovely company, yet time consuming), all the while, struggling to manage your health, social troubles, wealth (lack of it), is quite the albatross, (not without saying, a struggle known (in some fashion) by most).

Other Reads & References